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all memories are traces of tears
Jun-27-2010 6:14 pm
I wanted to write mblaq (again) and my ideas for joondoong are like, 10x weirder than my ideas for jongkey.

joondoong, au, r
character death (except not for good)

they always show up at the same time. every odd numbered day. 10:02 in the morning. sometimes joon wonders if they show up at the same exact second too but he never checks (he always finds that his throat is a little too tight to look down).

they always show up at the same time. then they introduce themselves. his name is thunder. he's beautiful, so beautiful, and joon wants to reach out and touch him. so he does. (and it wasn't until june 15 that he finally realized that he should.)

they always show up at the same time. and they always leave at the same time. every odd numbered day. 11:17 in the evening. they leave in such horrible, terrible ways but it never changes. (he can't change it.) joon would like to be able to say it gets easier but it doesn't.

they never remember him.

joon cups a soft cheek in his palm and the boy is pale, so pale and so quiet against joon's lips. he takes off their clothing one piece at a time until they're standing naked in the middle of the room, chest to chest, hips to hips, breath to breath.

thunder introduced himself 15 minutes ago, mouthing his name against joon's collarbone as the older boy's hands smoothed over his back, the familiar feel of ribs and fabric and skin under his palms.

joon doesn't ask any questions, doesn't say anything at all, just trails his hand downwards as the other boy gasps into his neck.

on even numbered days he goes to work, the part-time job that keeps ramen in the cupboards and joon in his tiny apartment. he used to work full-time but it got to be too much. (6 hours and 17 minutes just wasn't enough.)

joon has 34 hours and 55 minutes in the real world. he pays his bills, does his laundry, cleans his apartment, and waits, counting the time down.

thunder is angry at something he said but joon doesn't want to argue (doesn't have time to argue). so he shoves the lanky boy against the wall and crashes their mouths together, letting his teeth cut into that scowl.

thunder struggles, fights against the body pinning him to smooth surfaces, until fingers slip past zippers and a warm palm presses against stiff flesh.

joon keeps him pinned against the wall, a long leg draped over his hip as he pushes into the other boy's body. sharp fingers dig into his shoulder and it hurts but it's sweet and it's different but it's the same.

when they're finished joon traces 'i'm sorry' against thunder's skin because he doesn't want the other boy to leave without knowing.

thunder can't (doesn't) avoid the car. it hits him at 43 mph despite the driver's best efforts and reflexes. afterwards he lies on the pavement, thin body bent in unnatural angles and joon closes his eyes against the sting (closes his eyes against the sight of red blood against white skin).

march 11. 11:17 pm.

joon would like to say it gets easier but it doesn't.
(Deleted comment)
Jun-28-2010 12:02 am (UTC)
xD I didn't know if I should put a character death warning on this! Because like.....he dies but he comes back to life every 34 hours and 55 minutes. What do you think?!

Lol thank you bb <3
(Deleted comment)
Jun-28-2010 12:22 am (UTC)
god I don't even know. it was sort of inspired by this set of poems because I started thinking about multiples and then....yeah

I'll go put that warning up now;;;
Jun-28-2010 2:37 am (UTC)

Jun-28-2010 2:40 am (UTC)
Jun-29-2010 5:31 am (UTC)
So after the initial confusion, shock, and obligatory WTF is she smoking???, I was very impressed with your story. Like it's not an idea that I've ever seen before, and I wish you could expand on that. I'm a fairweather MBLAQ fan, but I would so read that.

Jun-29-2010 5:35 am (UTC)
Lol you kind of already did. Read it, that is xD

I wish I could expand on it too, but honestly I don't know what's going on in this besides the feeling that Joon is in love with someone he can only be with transitorily and it makes me sad.

Also, you took a long time to get over your shock and confusion. Apparently this was even stranger than Stockholm.
Jul-10-2010 12:30 am (UTC)
I keep neglecting this place and forgetting some fics are here too D:
Argh the angst of chundoong dying...okay it wasn't THAT bad lol. I liked the development of how far and how quickly they came from being strangers to...idk more than just strangers(what kind of relationship do you call theirs anyway? Fuck buddies?)
Jul-10-2010 12:34 am (UTC)
xD I call it Joon being in love with someone who he can only spend 13 hours and 15 minutes with before he dies and is reborn again without any memories.

LOL. Thanks babe~
Jul-10-2010 11:25 am (UTC)
Ahhh...so that's the reason for all th dates and timings! I didn't really get it at first lol (is dense sometimes)
Jul-20-2010 4:43 am (UTC)
omg your joondoong love is amazing and I am so happy someone else shares it with me. <3
Jul-20-2010 4:47 am (UTC)
Oh dear what a terrible story to read about the otp!;;; But yes, my Joondoong love is ginormous and I wish to share it with the world!
Jul-20-2010 4:48 am (UTC)
NOT TERRIBLE, I LOVED IT. even though omg it's so sad.
Jul-20-2010 4:50 am (UTC)
Lol I'm glad! Thank you~ Even though I....killed.....Chundoong....

Feb-07-2012 5:04 am (UTC)
found you on an MBLAQ rec list and followed it to you. It was weird and wild and I got to the end with a head shake. Read it again of course, and marvelled at the complexity and depth.

Was Joon the one that hit him? how does it work? do you know?
This was amazing.
Feb-07-2012 5:27 am (UTC)
I'm surprised to be on an MBLAQ rec list since it wasn't my main fandom. Cool :)

Thank you so much for the comments. My idea was that Chundoong was a strange creature caught in a continual time-loop. He always shows up at the same time and always dies at the same time, then is reborn only to suffer the same fate. Granted, how he dies is always different and where he shows up is probably different as well, but it's inevitable. Joon doesn't kill him, but he always ends up watching.

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